Sunday, October 11, 2015

one

Depression is a bitch. It's a black dog that follows you, mercilessly, licking your food before you eat it, following you everywhere, breaking things when your back is turned, nipping at you constantly, laying on your chest and pressing out the air.
Depression fucks with your dreams.

I dreamt I went to Adam and Jen's wedding, but it was Meredith and Josh's wedding. I dreamt that I found some purple body stocking that helped me fit into the dress perfectly, and I looked beautiful. By the time we came down the stairs it was Jen again, we were walking into a beautiful cathedral, and we hadn't done any rehearsal. I walked in alone (no Aaron in sight), and blacked out before Jen ever made it in. I woke up the next day, confused, and made Leah tell me what had happened-- I had major liver problems, couldn't deal with alcohol, some other related issue. I ruined everything.